Masturbation: the seeking of sexual pleasure with oneself.

by Catherine Novac
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Article online since August 20th 2009, 12:44
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In the past, this pleasurable practice was associated with feelings of fear, guilt, and misconceptions. These attitudes still exist today. Did you know that most individuals, even when in a sexual relationship, masturbate on occasion?

It is important to note that for some there are many conflicting and ambivalent feelings associated to the thought and knowledge of their partner engaging in masturbation when they are not around. These feelings may include jealousy, revulsion (especially if masturbation is perceived as dirty and immoral), insecurity, anger, as well as the feeling that one’s partner is cheating. Such feelings can affect one’s self-esteem, lead to conflict and even a break-up. Should you have any such feelings and you feel it is having a serious impact on you and your relationship, it would be a good to discuss it with a therapist.

Click Here For Female Masturbation At Its Very Best!

The age at which we discover that touching certain parts of our body gives us pleasure is different from individual to individual. Many believe that masturbation is a naturally learned behaviour. Not true. Some fall upon it accidentally, through some form of physical activity, rubbing themselves on objects such as stuffed animals… If the person was not prepared and it is unexpected, it can cause surprise and even upset. Others set out to explore and masturbate after hearing others speak about this mysterious phenomenon, or on the advice of a friend. First attempts are often awkward and unproductive.

Masturbation can have several aims, it feels good, it is a sexual release, and understanding what feels good empowers you with self-knowledge, providing you with very intimate facts you can share with your partner. Everyone is distinct in what is sexually arousing, and men and women differ in the general way they masturbate.

Male masturbation:

In general men’s masturbation centres on the penis. They may rub their penis against their body with one hand or two. They may choose to roll it between their palms as they move their hands up and down along the shaft of the penis. Others will thrust their pelvis on something like a pillow.

The actual stroking technique of the penis may differ. It may go from a very gentle caress to a strong hold, from a slow pace to a very quick motion. Most often, as a man gets close to orgasm his movements become more rapid. However, when he actually ejaculates, most will slow down dramatically, or even stop any stimulation of the penis. The gland being very sensitive at orgasm makes further stimulation unpleasant (this is often the case with women as well).

Saliva, soap (in the bath or shower), oil, cream … can be used as a lubricant to permit smooth movement along the shaft. Some enjoy the use of a vibrator, or stimulate their anus and nipples while masturbating (yes, I did say anus and nipples).

Click Here For Female Masturbation At Its Very Best!

Certain men tend to focus their energy on orgasm when masturbating (this can take as little as 2 to 3 minutes), while others take a slower approach. Quick can be practical when time is limited, however this prepares you little for sex with a partner. Rushing through does not usually lead to mutual sexual gratification. Taking one’s time not only extends the pleasure but may also intensify it.

Female masturbation:

Women on the other hand differ greatly in the ways they choose to masturbate. It may range from stimulation of the clitoral area, the clitoris itself, the entire mons area (region over the pubic bone) rather than the clitoris alone (the clitoris is extremely sensitive, making direct stimulation over a period of time uncomfortable). They may use their hands, an object, or a vibrator… Often direct stimulation of the clitoris involves a circular, up and down or side-to-side movement. Masturbation may also involve pulling on the inner lips, moving a finger in and out of the vagina, stimulating the G-spot or the vaginal entrance without penetration… Rarely is penetration alone used to masturbate.

Women may masturbate by squeezing and contracting the thigh muscles, pelvic thrusts against something, cross their legs and contract their muscles, stimulate their breasts, and fantasize.

Unlike men, many women continue to stimulate their clitoral area during and after orgasm. Also, the female sexual response is usually slower than that of the man’s while masturbating (and even longer during intercourse, possibly due to a lack of direct stimulation).

Masturbation has for a long time been perceived as an individual practice. The reality is that many individuals have a certain level of discomfort associated to the thought of being watched while masturbating, however it is often considered very stimulating to a partner. This knowledge can be shared and use to guide your partner. Also, if birth control is not available, mutual masturbation can go a long way in providing pleasure for both you and your partner. It is a viable alternative to intercourse.

Masturbation, once achieved with comfort and know-how can be a very exciting part of a couples’ sexual interactions.

Click Here For Female Masturbation At Its Very Best!

There is a negative side to masturbation. It is when it becomes obsessive (recurrent and persistent ideas, thoughts, impulses, or images) or compulsive (repetitive, purposeful, and intentional in response to an obsession) in nature. That is when the behaviour feels out of control. Your life revolves around the when, where and how you are going to masturbate, causing marked distress and leaving little time and room for anything else. If you believe any of this describes you, it would help to discuss it with a professional. There is a way out.

Questions, concerns, column suggestions? Leave a comment here or email sex therapist Catherine Novac at catherinenovac@videotron.ca.

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Friday Weird Science: Careful with that Toy! (NSFW)

Category: Friday Weird Science
Posted on: July 10, 2009 12:46 AM, by Scicurious

I think we can all agree that the American population has become a little more open with regard to sexual practices than it was in, say, the 1950's. The existence of premarital sex is discussed in multiple media outlets, and there are homosexual relationships discussed with candor. However, there are still several sexual practices which are still considered relatively taboo with regards to public discussion. While male masturbation, for example is discussed (often as comedic relief) pretty openly, female masturbation remains an extremely taboo topic in popular discussion. However, another topic also remains un-discussed (well, except for on Sex and the City, and they've discussed EVERYTHING).

Sex toys.

ResearchBlogging.org Griffin and McGwin. "Sexual Stimulation Device-related Injuries" Journal of Sex and Marital Therapy, 2009.

Sci would like to take this time to note that Neurotopia claims no responsibility for what happens if your boss catches you clicking around below the fold.

Having conducted an informal poll myself (in this case, known as asking my friends) most women, and some men of my acquaintance, own sex toys. Every woman I've ever met has at least HEARD of 'the rabbit', and most people know a bit about rings, dildos, beads, or regular vibrators. Studies report that 68% of adults between 18-39 use sex toys more than once a month (Foxman et al, 2006). And yet, they're the kind of things that most people wouldn't discuss in public if their lives depended on it, and in private, only with close friends or after a few drinks (or both).

(Behold the rabbit. In the immortal words of Charlotte from Sex and the City, "Look! Oh, it's so cute! Oh I thought it would be all scary and weird, but it isn't! It's pink, for girls! I love the little bunny, it has a little face! Like Peter Rabbit.")

Now you might think, well, what's the problem? This is people's private business, and not something that most people want to talk about, so what's the big deal? Well, it turns out that some of these things...aren't so easy to use. After all, we're talking about delicate openings in the anatomy, and in some cases, small machinery. If you don't know what you're doing...things could get lost in there. Or stuck. Or rip things. Or leave pieces. Or...ow...

And it turns out, this happens more frequently than you might think. The authors of this study collected data from the National Electronic Injury Surveillance System (NEISS), and found that, between 1995-2006, 6799 people came in to the ER with "sexual stimulation device" related injuries. And the rate increased over time (presumably as the use of sex toys became more widespread in the population). Average age of sex toy related injuries was 30-39, and white males had the highest rates of injury (indicating either increased usage for which the toy was not intended, or an inability to read the instructions).

Of the injuries studied, 78.1% were anorectal, and 18.2% were vaginal or penile in nature. The most frequent misuse of a device was with those devices that vibrated (73.5%), with the second highest injury rate occurring among users of dildos (12.9%). 95.2% of male injuries were anorectal, and 74.8% of those injuries were using vibrating devices. Women tended to injure themselves vaginally, and yet again, those vibrating devices were to blame.

The authors have several possible explanations for this. First it's possible that sex toys have become more dangerous over the years, particularly after the year 2000, though this seems pretty unlikely, as the technology hasn't really changed. The more likely explanation, though, is that more people are using them. With more overall numbers, the likelihood increases that someone is going to be stupid uninformed about their use, and wind up in the ER with "private pain problems".

But the other question is, why more male injuries than female? The answer to this question is actually pretty simple. Women are more likely to use the vaginal route of insertion. The vagina is a lot more forgiving than the anus, and tends toward more natural lubrication, making injury less likely. Another possibility that the authors discuss is the idea that women are less sexually active than men as age increases, and so you're going to see more male injuries overall, as use of sex toys in females begins to decline. Sci thinks it's probably a combination of both factors.

There are a couple major issues with this data, of course. First of all, the population statistics are based on the idea that 100% of the adult population is using sex toys, which they probably aren't. Secondly, there's the major issue of whether or not the person involved in an injury seeks medical care in the first place. After all, this can be a bit embarrassing to explain to your doctor. I mean, what if they really DO keep a drawer full of things they found up people's anuses in the ER, like in Scrubs?

The fear of embarrassment means that the average time between getting the injury (or getting something stuck) and going to the ER is TWO DAYS. Or MORE. People, you're dignity isn't worth two days of pain and the possibility of multiple expensive and highly difficult surgeries. Hie thee to the ER.

The moral of this journal article, is this: whatever you're using, make sure you use adequate lubricant, and READ THE INSTRUCTIONS. After all, some of the battery-powered devices, for example, can't be taken in water, and how would that look if someone found you electrocuted in your bath in the morning with your vibrator. At least when you have to go in to the ER, you can make up an excuse! And if you do get injured, get to the ER. They've seen it all before.

Griffin, R., & McGwin, G. (2009). Sexual Stimulation Device-Related Injuries Journal of Sex & Marital Therapy, 35 (4), 253-261 DOI: 10.1080/00926230902851249

Masturbation Month Comes to Town

If you didn’t know May was National Masturbation Month, you’re not alone.
By Liz Spikol

If you didn’t know May was National Masturbation Month, you’re not alone—nor are you even necessarily Catholic. The annual observance doesn’t have a hugely high profile. It started in 1995 in—where else?—San Francisco, as a response to the forced resignation of U.S. Surgeon General Joycelyn Elders. After a speech at the United Nations World AIDS Day in 1994, an audience member asked Elders about masturbation’s potential for discouraging early sexual activity. She replied: “I think [it] is something that is part of human sexuality and a part of something that perhaps should be taught.”

That was the end of the first black surgeon general’s Washington career, but the beginning of National Masturbation Month, a protest effort started by the company Good Vibrations. This year it has its Philadelphia debut.

Elicia Gonzalez, 34, is spearheading the local self-pleasure education effort in conjunction with the Mazzoni Center, Philadephia’s LGBT health center, where, as manager of the Collective, Gonzalez addresses sexual practice and drug use among men of color. We spoke with her about the fine art of onanism.

What motivated you to start a National Masturbation Month observance in Philly?

“I initially had the idea to do it primarily because at Mazzoni we talk about masturbation quite often with clients, and I talk with my staff about talking to their clients about masturbation as a way of expressing their sexuality, but doing so with very low risk. I knew that May was coming around and that raising awareness about masturbation in general would be a good idea.”

And it seems to tie into the workshop you offer to women on the subject.

“I’ve had a longstanding mission to help empower and educate females. I did the workshop at the LGBT Women of Color Conference and at Sister Song. The workshop helps women dispel the myths surrounding masturbation and encourages women to talk openly about their values and beliefs about masturbation, which is also the goal is for the Hot Button event.”

So the Hot Button event is a party?

“We’re having a sort of Hot Button lounge, if you will, in the basement of the Fuse party and we’re going to have a Masturbation 101 workshop, a sexuality Pictionary and masturbation Quizzo. So that’s going to be a very fun and interactive way of getting education out there but also raising awareness and helping people talk about it. Because a lot of the shame and stigma that I’ve heard comes from not being able to discuss it openly and honestly, and being really ashamed about it.”

Do you feel like religion has something to do with that shame?

“I think a lot of the myths that are currently still at play stem from religious teachings that say that masturbation is a sin against God and various religions. The Old Testament stated that Onan basically sinned against God because he didn’t impregnate his brother’s wife. Instead he masturbated and spilled the semen on the ground. That has been interpreted as a sin against God. But in actuality, [the story] has more to do with procreation. This is just my own personal view, but in my understanding, part of religious teaching is promoting procreation. Anything that kind of goes against procreation, including masturbation as well as homosexuality, is sort of condemned.”

I recently learned about the Passion4Christ Movement’s anti-masturbation campaign, which claims masturbation is dirty.

“There are a ton of different [myths]. Doctors used to think that bringing your body to orgasm would basically cause it to get so excited that it could potentially result in brain damage.”

Do you think there’s more shame around masturbation for women?

“I think so. Historically, female masturbation has been equated with immorality and insanity. When we introduced the idea of having a Hot Button party, there were several people who came out saying that they were surprised to learn that females masturbate. They thought it was only something that men did. … It goes really, really deep. Women are constantly talking about the impact that this has on their sexuality because I think that sometimes our sexuality exists only for the pleasure of others. You’re not necessarily allowed to explore your own sexuality. It can kind of keep you a prisoner of your own shame. Women’s bodies have been demonized for centuries and women have often been discouraged from discussing their sexuality.”

Is that why you feel it’s important for women to masturbate?

“I think in terms of overall general health and well-being, masturbation is a healthy sexual expression that we have for ourselves, by ourselves, on our own terms. It’s a way of expressing sexuality while staying safe. In terms of the overall mission of the Mazzoni Center, we provide health services to LGBT Philadelphians, and sexuality is part of that. And this is one of my life missions: making people feel empowered to make decisions, to take control of your own body. When you feel empowered about your own body, I think that makes all the difference in the world.”

Campus Confidential

Tessa Bryant
Issue date: 4/3/09 Section: Opinion

I am going to let all of you in on a secret: I masturbate. Often. Even when I had a boyfriend, I masturbated (and he did too).

Let me pose a question. What is more shocking: a woman that masturbates, or one that is willing to openly discuss it in public?

As I'm sure everyone is well aware, I am an advocate of sex. Sometimes, though, I like to keep it a little more personal. Sometimes there is nothing better than having a little one-on-one fun, getting in touch with your own body.

Don't worry, I am not going to get into the gritty details of my self-pleasure. I won't discuss my technique. Or my schedule. Or my fantasies.

I feel it important, however, to discuss the stigma attached to female masturbation, like many other issues regarding female sexuality. Is it fair? No, but it is an unfortunate part of life. As women, we get the short end of the stick more often than not.

Society has been pervasively masculine-dominated for a large percent of recorded history.

Simply put, men tend to get away with more than women. Guys pick up a girl for the sex and he's congratulated. A woman does the same thing and she's treated like a slut. Boys will be boys, right?

An image of the "ideal" woman has been passed down for generations. Although the sexual revolution helped break the mold and women have come a long way, the playing field is hardly equal. Women are still held to standards that just aren't fair.

My friend Jay contends that this standard does not only apply to women.

"How many guys do you think would own up to it?" he asked. "If you're doing it, you're not getting any action from the girls. It's taboo for both sexes."

He has a point. People tend to cast a negative light on masturbation, even though sexuality studies suggest an alarming number (along the lines of 97 percent of men) masturbate. It is a natural act. Why treat it like something wrong, dirty or taboo?

There are depictions of masturbation in early cave wall drawings and in the art and writings of nearly every culture through history since that time.

I am going to let all of you in on a secret: I masturbate. Often. Even when I had a boyfriend, I masturbated (and he did too).

Let me pose a question. What is more shocking: a woman that masturbates, or one that is willing to openly discuss it in public?

As I'm sure everyone is well aware, I am an advocate of sex. Sometimes, though, I like to keep it a little more personal. Sometimes there is nothing better than having a little one-on-one fun, getting in touch with your own body.

Don't worry, I am not going to get into the gritty details of my self-pleasure. I won't discuss my technique. Or my schedule. Or my fantasies.

I feel it important, however, to discuss the stigma attached to female masturbation, like many other issues regarding female sexuality. Is it fair? No, but it is an unfortunate part of life. As women, we get the short end of the stick more often than not.

Society has been pervasively masculine-dominated for a large percent of recorded history.

Simply put, men tend to get away with more than women. Guys pick up a girl for the sex and he's congratulated. A woman does the same thing and she's treated like a slut. Boys will be boys, right?

An image of the "ideal" woman has been passed down for generations. Although the sexual revolution helped break the mold and women have come a long way, the playing field is hardly equal. Women are still held to standards that just aren't fair.

My friend Jay contends that this standard does not only apply to women.

"How many guys do you think would own up to it?" he asked. "If you're doing it, you're not getting any action from the girls. It's taboo for both sexes."

He has a point. People tend to cast a negative light on masturbation, even though sexuality studies suggest an alarming number (along the lines of 97 percent of men) masturbate. It is a natural act. Why treat it like something wrong, dirty or taboo?

There are depictions of masturbation in early cave wall drawings and in the art and writings of nearly every culture through history since that time.

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Sex Toys

Real Female Masturbation

Sex Toys By J. Foley

Sex toys are coming out of the drawer to take their rightful place on bedside tables everywhere. The most popular sex toys are designed to resemble human genitals and can be classified as vibrating or non-vibrating. Sex Toys are inanimate objects that are used to stimulate the genitals or other sensitive regions to facilitate reaching orgasm. Sex toys are safe as long as they are used responsibly and hygienically. Sex toys are safer when used by yourself, but should not be shared without a new condom being put on them.

Sex toys are a simple and fast way to release some pressure. For the most part, sex toys are designed solely to increase pleasure. Because our society is in conflict over the rightness of sexual pleasure, it is not surprising that sex toys are subject to numerous myths and controversies.

Women primarily use them on their own, but they can also be incorporated into sexual activity with a partner.They are most widely used in partner sex by adults ages 30 to 49. It seems to me that, theoretically, there could be men and women out there unable to orgasm without the aid of a sex toy.

Combine the explosion of sex toy mania that has de-stigmatized novelties (putting electrical accoutrements in the hands of millions of women) and research showing that only 30 percent of ladies reach orgasm with intercourse alone, and it’s no wonder some men may find themselves battling vibrator envy. With help of sex toys you can increase personal pleasures from sex and also evoke unlimited sexual attraction of your partner. Hey, the bottom line,women just want to add more spice to their sex lives, and modern women in pursuit of special thrills and feelings in sex, buy sex toys.

It is important in the cleaning of sex toys(especially when used anally) as many sex toys are made of porous materials, to be especially diligent in the cleaning process, and that is why glass sex toys are more preferred for sexual uses because of their non-porus nature and ability to be sterilized between uses.

Sex toys are but one, and perhaps the most innocuous, feature of the globalizing sex economy. Sex toys are fun all year round, but Valentine's Day is an especially good time to buy them and try them. Sex toys are being purchased mainly by women but are also proving popular with party groups as well. Sex toys are no longer a taboo subject, and they are more accessible than ever thanks to online stores, and chances are, you will find a greater variety of gadgets on your website of choice than in a local sex shop.

Article Written By J. Foley

The G-Spot

Real Female Masturbation

The G-Spot By J. Foley

The G spot is named after the famous German gynecologist Ernest Grafenberg. It came to be known as the G-spot, and Dr Grafenberg found immortality in the name of a vaginal pleasure zone. The G spot, or Grafenberg Spot is an area inside a woman, alledged to give her better orgasms and massive pleasure. Some hypothesize that the G-spot is a bundle of nerves extending from the clitoris, others think that the G-spot is a gland that provides lubrication, resembling the prostate gland in men. In 1981 sexologists Whipple and Perry published a revolutionary book, The G-spot, which revived Grafenberg's research and elaborated emphatically on the fantastic sexual possibilities of this special zone.

Some women have orgasms through G-spot stimulation alone, others prefer a combination of G-spot and clitoral arousal. Some people have the sudden urge to urinate when pressure is placed on the G-spot, so its advised women should urinate before G-Spot stimulation, because it relaxes her to pay attention to the sensation, instead of worrying about urination.

To locate your "G-spot", wait till you are feeling very turned on, then squat or lie on your stomach and place one or two fingers into your vagina (about two or three inches in, along the line of the urethra). The spot needs to be pressed quite firmly, and if you feel close to orgasm, rapid pumping may be most effective. It can be difficult to achieve orgasm from G-spot stimulation alone, especially if you?re newly exploring this area.

The G-spot's location differs from woman to woman, so take your time and discover the location of your personal pleasure spot. While teaching your body to have G-spot orgasms, use other stimulation to provide additional pleasure. It is difficult to maintain this pressure for long so you may want to try using a G- spot vibrator. These are similar to regular cylindrical vibrators but they have a slight curve at the end which is designed to vibrate against your G-spot.

When with your partner Insert one or two fingers into your woman's vagina, finding the G spot and pressing down firmly on it. The G spot will most likely feel different in texture than the surrounding areas of the vaginal wall. The wall will usually feel firm and tight while the g spot is generally similar in texture to wrinkled skin. Press down on the g spot each time your fingers pass back over it, and ask your partner to describe the pace at which she enjoys this motion the most. Use your partner's vocal expressions of her enjoyment to guide the amount of pressure and speed you use to stimulate her G spot. Ask your partner whether she feels comfortable with you using your tongue in combination with your fingers to stimulate her G spot and massage her vagina.

Oral sex, used in conjunction with G spot stimulation, is likely to bring a woman to orgasm without much difficulty. Use your tongue motions to stimulate the outer area of the vagina, as well as the clitoris, while you use your fingers to massage her G spot. And when you insert your index finger into your girlfriends vagina, instead of curling your middle finger up, arch it backwards and use the under pad of your middle finger to gently caress your girlfriends G spot in circular motions, or back and forth, or up and down, as you lick her clitoris, alternating between fingering her rapidly until she experiences her first ever simultaneous vaginal, clitoral, G spot orgasm.

Try using sex toys to stimulate your partner's G spot. The G-spot vibrator measures 6 1/2 inches in length and 3 1/2 inches in cicumference at widest point. there are ten rather powerful speeds controlled by two easy touch buttons and the smooth plastic shaft is vertically ribbed and curved at the end to fit snugly into your G-spot. The main reason you'll love this vibe is the wonderfully firm but flexible quality of the shaft, and a close second is the powerful and "virtually silent" vibrating bullet-specifically its location at the curved and rounded G-spot tip. There is tons of information out there to tell you, but I suggest getting a g-spot vibrator and using that while stimulating the clitoris.

Interestingly enough, this August, Dr Terence Hines, Professor of Psychology at New York's Pace University, published a report in the American Journal of Obstetrics and Gynaecology claiming that evidence for the existence of the G-spot is no more than anecdotal. Hines reviewed all the past research on the subject and concluded that the G-spot was "a sort of gynaecological UFO: much searched for, much discussed, but unverified by objective means". At the end of the day though, whether the G-spot is a biological organ, is largely irrelevant if stimulating the area creates a pleasant sensation.

So women,it could take many sessions of playing and experimenting with your G-spot to really feel these sensations from stimulation, so be patient. Remember, this unique pleasure spot requires firmer pressure and quick rubbing strokes, not in-and-out thrusting. As you feel your way through the different sensations while exploring your G-spot, use your other hand or a vibrating bullet to incorporate clitoral stimulation. This combination of G-spot and clitoral stimulation creates pure delight for many women.

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Article Written By J. Foley